Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Tip for guys on raising their social status 

No matter how hard one tries, a guy can never become "cooler" or more socially desirable in the eyes of women. Contrary to popular films, simply putting trendy clothing on the otherwise mediocre nerd will not make him the homecoming king. The only thing a guy can hope for is a change in his surroundings.

In the frum dating community, this happens automatically as a guy gets older. The older a guy gets, the more advantageous the dateable guy/girl ratio becomes. Take moshe for example. At 21, Moshe, along with most of his friends, begins to date. He like most of his friends is in college, has pretty good job prospects, avg. look/height and build, regular "nice" personallity and middle-upperclass parents. Such stats put moshe in around the 50th percentile in the shidduch market. When moshe becomes 24, however, a large bulk of the top 25% have married, and are no longer his competition on the dating market. Moshe now stands at the 75 percentile of dating and constantly gets set up with more desirable women than before. By the time moshe hits 26, the only single guys left besides him, have either turned very modern, have really crappy jobs, or just are otherwise very creepy (or just fears commitment). Moshe now stands at about the 95th percentile in the dating market and gets set up with the highest quality girls in the 23 to 25 range.

With girls, on the otherhand, you can still find a good percentage of quality at the 23+ age range. Of course, many of the most desirable girls will have been snatched up before they hit 21, but there is less disparity overall between girls in the 50th-75th percentile of desirability. There are many reasons why, as age increases, there is a higher proportion of quality girls than guys (which is a discussion for a later time), but if you ask any 24 year old girl how many dateable guys there are, there is no doubt that she will respond with a look of disappointment and despair.

So avg. guys: if you feel you aren't getting set up with enough attractive/wealthy girls, just take a break from dating and resurface at the age of 25. While you will remain the same ho-hum dud you were before, at least now you have a better shot of landing a pretty girl.

*This does not apply in the West side where everyone is over 25
** There are many other factors that come into play in getting a desirable girl, so while being older improves your odds, it does not guarantee it.
I don't really agree with you, the longer you wait the less boys of your age will be on the market, but don't forget that the girls are also going, so the longer you wait the less girls you'll find.
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