Monday, February 21, 2005
Chananya Weismann, of endthemadness fame, wrote and article for jewish press detailing the difficulties he has getting a date:
. . .Of course, if Rava really wished to flummox his colleague, he could
have asked a much simpler question: What`s your hashkafa?
We can only speculate as to the witty retort this would have
engendered in Talmudic times. Nowadays, however, this question is asked
with the greatest of seriousness, and numerous judgments about a person, both major and minor, are determined based on the reply. Indeed, if a potential shidduch survives this question, the prospect of a first date jumps from inconceivable all the way up to highly unlikely. With so much hanging in the balance, it is no wonder that many of us dread the inevitable demand to label ourselves. To wear an unfashionable label is to ride next to trouble on a one-lane highway. In today`s world of sound bites, snap judgments, and instant gratification, it can be a mistake beyond repair.
Is it just me, or is the point of endthemadness not to help people find the right match, but rather to help people find first dates, regardless of compatibility? It appears that endthemadness is catering to a crowd where getting a first date is "inconceivable", or at best "highly unlikely." Chananya feels, after experiencing much failure in his attempts to procure first dates, that the shidduch crisis is caused by people who cant get dates. This completely ignores that fact that most singles who are considered part of the "shidduch crisis, usually have been out with over 50+ (sometimes even more) different people. Its highly unlikely that people refusing to go on dates is what is causing the shidduch crisis.
Chananya, did you ever stop and think for one second that when girls use "labels" and "hashkafas" as an excuse not to go out with you, it is just that, an excuse? Maybe, just maybe, there is some other reason that these girls arent going out with you and your friends. Judging from your articles and website, I cant think of any reasons, but maybe could think of some.
. . .Of course, if Rava really wished to flummox his colleague, he could
have asked a much simpler question: What`s your hashkafa?
We can only speculate as to the witty retort this would have
engendered in Talmudic times. Nowadays, however, this question is asked
with the greatest of seriousness, and numerous judgments about a person, both major and minor, are determined based on the reply. Indeed, if a potential shidduch survives this question, the prospect of a first date jumps from inconceivable all the way up to highly unlikely. With so much hanging in the balance, it is no wonder that many of us dread the inevitable demand to label ourselves. To wear an unfashionable label is to ride next to trouble on a one-lane highway. In today`s world of sound bites, snap judgments, and instant gratification, it can be a mistake beyond repair.
Is it just me, or is the point of endthemadness not to help people find the right match, but rather to help people find first dates, regardless of compatibility? It appears that endthemadness is catering to a crowd where getting a first date is "inconceivable", or at best "highly unlikely." Chananya feels, after experiencing much failure in his attempts to procure first dates, that the shidduch crisis is caused by people who cant get dates. This completely ignores that fact that most singles who are considered part of the "shidduch crisis, usually have been out with over 50+ (sometimes even more) different people. Its highly unlikely that people refusing to go on dates is what is causing the shidduch crisis.
Chananya, did you ever stop and think for one second that when girls use "labels" and "hashkafas" as an excuse not to go out with you, it is just that, an excuse? Maybe, just maybe, there is some other reason that these girls arent going out with you and your friends. Judging from your articles and website, I cant think of any reasons, but maybe could think of some.
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