Monday, May 03, 2004

Here is what you all have been waiting for: Solving the shidduch problem once and for all.

It is quite understandable why so many readers have eagerly awaited my solution to this vexing problem. Indeed, the problem is so great that some people have created entire organization just to try and get a date. One such organization is endthemadness. But alas, all attempts at solving the problem thus far have come up short. Of course, until now.

Before I explain my plan of action I will first repeat what exactly is the root cause of the shidduch crisis, which, simply put, is high expectations. If people would just realize where they stand on the social desirability scale, they would become more realistic and try to date girls/guys who are in the same league as them.

The solution, which is almost half complete, is similar to the Zagats restaurant survey. I have selected a sample of guys who are single (or very recently engaged), both modern and yeshivish, and whose age vary a good amount. Each guy was given a form, asking them to list every girl they have been out with, how many dates (the more dates, the more heavily weighted), and to rate them on a desirability scale of 1-5 in different categories, which gets averaged into an overall score. There is also room for comments next to each girl listed. This survey will be periodically updated until all singles are listed. Thus far, this form has been distributed to over 200 guys, ranging for cool to “not so cool.” If you are reading this and wondering why you haven’t received one of these forms it is because I feel you have poor judgment, and I don’t want you messing up my survey. The rankings of over 600 girls have been complied at this, and are ready for distribution.

Ladies, there is no need to worry, I will not release the results until I get all the women/girls to fill out forms about guys. When this time arrives, people will be able to look at the survey and know exactly which girls/guys they should be going for and which they shouldn’t. There should never be more than a 1.5 point discrepancy between the parties.

And to alleviate your fears, I will be receiving the haskama of all the major rabbis.
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