Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Some readers have pointed me to the hashkafa.com website. After reading through the site for a few minutes, I noticed that the questions raised never receive honest and accurate answers. Therefore, as a service to these individuals, and to the dating community in general, I will post the correct answers to many of these questions.
One poor soul asks:
I recently went out with a girl whom I really liked, and after a bunch of dates and phone calls she throws out the "I don't see it going anywhere" line. She told that to me over the phone. I asked her if she can tell me a reason and she couldn't. The shaddchan and her parents tried to get a reason. Nadda.
I think the girl may have commitment issues (she did like me and even told me so on one of our dates!) but I'd be interested in hearing what someone else has to say on the "I don't see it going anywhere" line...
The answers he received (among others):
I think most likely you could be right, and she has commitment issues, and "freaked out.
This, of course, is incorrect.
The correct answer:
We will start with the line-"she did like me and even told me so on one of our dates!"
Any reader of average intelligence can easily tell that this girl did not "like" him. The girl didnt want to tell him or the shadchan the real reason, simply, because she did not want to sound shallow. The boy being dumped on his face had nothing to do with fear of commitment
The real reason he was dumped clearly had to do with looks or money, or both.
Initially, she though that with time she would be able to look past the problems she was having with the guy, but alas, this time never came. Comforting this boy with lies about "fear of commitment" will do him no good and continue to perpetuate his false hopes of landing a hotty. Honesty should be encouraged.
One poor soul asks:
I recently went out with a girl whom I really liked, and after a bunch of dates and phone calls she throws out the "I don't see it going anywhere" line. She told that to me over the phone. I asked her if she can tell me a reason and she couldn't. The shaddchan and her parents tried to get a reason. Nadda.
I think the girl may have commitment issues (she did like me and even told me so on one of our dates!) but I'd be interested in hearing what someone else has to say on the "I don't see it going anywhere" line...
The answers he received (among others):
I think most likely you could be right, and she has commitment issues, and "freaked out.
This, of course, is incorrect.
The correct answer:
We will start with the line-"she did like me and even told me so on one of our dates!"
Any reader of average intelligence can easily tell that this girl did not "like" him. The girl didnt want to tell him or the shadchan the real reason, simply, because she did not want to sound shallow. The boy being dumped on his face had nothing to do with fear of commitment
The real reason he was dumped clearly had to do with looks or money, or both.
Initially, she though that with time she would be able to look past the problems she was having with the guy, but alas, this time never came. Comforting this boy with lies about "fear of commitment" will do him no good and continue to perpetuate his false hopes of landing a hotty. Honesty should be encouraged.
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